Whisper to me my darling
and tell me sweet words of love,
for I know that you will be leaving
and I will be forlorn.
Our time apart is coming,
no longer to be my companion.
You go unaccompanied
in solitary shadows.
Travel to the light
my love,
and find your way.
Our time was incomparable,
singular and lovely.
Glancing
past
the rain-streaked window,
I brought myself back to
times with you.
I knew as you sat
a few feet away,
that you could see me
lost in memories-
the raindrops reminding me
of all the tears.
I turned away-
only to find
that you had gone
like so many
times
in the
past.
Each night you looked at the stars
glittering in the sky,
naming each with glee.
I look for you among them
and wish you were here with me.
Shimmering.
Lustrous.
Sparkling
and stellar.
Where are you among them?
Life moves fast,
filled with mamy faces,
searching for the eyes,
that I can drown warmly into.
I’ve seen so many eyes
that speak so many things,
but they’re never the right ones,
the ones for me.
I want to melt
into the darkness,
into a lover’s eyes.
I want the heat,
the sparks of love.
Soft guardian
take him to a celestial place of comfort,
where the angels
watch over him
and the divine dwell,
where beauty and dreams
lay as treasures
and the protection
of the worthy.
Staring outside my window,
I see not the snow and mountaind
but the flat lands of Spain,
olive trees and miles of sunflowers.
While walking,
I imagine the narrow paths and
the cobblestone streets;
the feel of every rock
below me.
I see the brown piercing eyes,
that read my soul
across a crowded cafe.
I hear the sounds that
slip off my tongue
and slide between my teeth,
with the ease that was
always meant for me.
I miss you Spain.
You became a friend,
and each day when I walk
and my mind roams,
I find myself walking
down your streets
smiling at the faces,
passing me by.
I hate you for not loving me enough
to not let me go.
I hate you for all the times
you let me slip by in indifference.
For all the times you didn’t
fight for my love.
For all the times
you said what will be, will be.
For all the times you said
no one could love me more than you,
because you never showed me
but only said the words
that dropped from your lips
like dried flower petals
crumbled with lost love,
that once were fresh with dew.
You go through the motions
with no substance of feeling.
You are as cold as ice,
numb with emptiness.
I hate you
for all the love I gave to you
that was taken for granted.
For all the words meant with sincerity
that were taken for the lies you told me.
I hate you only because I loved you,
and you let my colors fade.
It occurred to me
as we both stood
watching the new fallen snow,
how different we two are
and how I had driven
that thought from my mind,
thinking that love would penetrate all differences.
Although I enjoyed the snow’s beauty,
I could not love the bitterness.
Your quiet calm anger
when I had asked
to go to a place of warmth,
shattered the ideal
to disillusionment.
If this could be
with such a minor thing
such as weather,
then there would be no room
for anything of more importance.
We two are different.
I wonder
whether in winters to come
we will be standing
watching the new fallen snow
together.
?
Why am I so uncertain
of your love?
Is it because
you rarely tell me
you love me
and usually
because I ask you to?
Is it because
you fail to call
when I am waiting
for hours on end?
Is it because
you have come
to take me for granted
as being yours?
Why are there questions?
The answer is known.
?
A framed photograph sits upon my dresser
close to me as I sleep.
It is a moment of he and I together,
to remind myself of the feelings
I’m searching for.
It could have been any he and I,
for I hold close
something that doesnt yet exist,
but something I long for
and saw in a dream sometime.
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